A Dream Deferred No More
I’ve had “Earn Ph.D.” on my goal list for a long time…nearly 14 years to be exact. It’s been sitting on that list for so long, it’s become a dream.
Year after year, I push the dream aside and write it in my plans for later. I mean, seriously, when is it a good time to prioritize the research and writing of a 200-plus-page dissertation?
But a few months ago as I started early planning for 2018, something was different. I didn’t have the automatic inclination to defer my dream again. Instead, my pen lingered on the paper, willing my hand to write, “Start Ph.D. program in 2018.”
So I did, and I will.
You’re going to do what?!
The work of earning a doctoral degree isn’t for the faint of heart, especially when you’re doing it alongside an already full life that includes a full-time career and raising three teenagers. I’ve seen the skepticism in the eyes of some who politely say, “But why do you need to it? It’s a lot of work.”
Those who know me well know I’ve scaled tough, seemingly impossible mountains before. And every single time, I’ve reached the peak better, smarter, and stronger. That’s why I need to do this…because I’m a person who believes in continuous growth and learning. There is always a new mountain to climb. You either find the mountain or it finds you.
Exactly how I’ll grow remains to be seen. But here are a few areas I hope to develop:
Become a better thinker.
My mind rarely stops. Fortunately, I’ve found ways to calm my busy brain. For example, I journal to give ideas a place to land. But those disorganized thoughts deserve more than being hidden away in my bedside notes.
I’m looking forward to the structure of the dissertation process so I can explore, evaluate, and expand on my ideas with focus and purpose. (By the way, I already have a solid idea of my research topic. I’ll share the details later. As a teaser, it falls within the area of inclusion and diversity in the workplace.)
Become a better writer.
Complementary to thinking better is writing better. After all, “Clear thinking becomes clear writing; one can’t exisit without the other,” advises author of On Writing Well, William Zinsser.
I imagine the dissertation writing process, which includes multiple review and feedback rounds with the doctoral faculty team, will challenge my writing ability in new, unexpected ways. I’ll need to prove competency in my area of study while also delivering a coherent, clear, and focused research argument.
Become a better contributor.
Another well-worn goal of mine is to become a published author. I’ve started that goal so many times over the years and stopped just as many times. I stop because I want to offer substantive value to the existing dialogue. There seems to be no point in adding trivial clutter to people’s bookshelves or social media feeds.
So a big reason for pursuing a Ph.D. is to demand more of myself. I want to know how to answer meaningful questions that lead to concrete evidence and practical solutions, not just personal rumination and opinion. I anticipate the doctoral journey will develop skills I can use toward confidently checking “Become a published author” off my goal list down the road.
Eye on the Prize: 2021
If all goes according to plan, I’ll earn my doctoral degree the same year my middle child earns her high school diploma. We’re already thinking about how we’ll celebrate our graduations. It’s important to reward hard work!
But for now, we (all three of my kiddos and I) are focused on doing well in our respective academic endeavors and hopefully, becoming better humans in the process.